2-17-2019

I believe.
I need to get understanding.
He is brilliant.
There is no other like Him.
His sovereignty rules my life.
The invisible hand of providence directs my course.
His laws have authority over me.
He is the only true God.
My worship should be for no other.
The understanding He has is infinite.
I have to work to get rest.
He is the first cause.
His throne is named grace.
There are no such things as coincidences. 
He came to destroy the work of Satan.
Denying myself is my responsibility.

2-16-2019

Who is eating my fruit? I woke up to this question demanding attention this morning. After shooing away the thoughts of self-righteousness and false humility. I determined not too many.

This question reminded My Lord produces fruit through me for others to receive not for myself. (No plant feeds upon itself). And good fruit is produced only by a healthy plant. (It is easy to take this analogy too far!) However, the same principles to apply for both the physical and spiritual realms. 

In my mind, there is a more important question needing an answer to than the one that started this thought process. Does My Lord eat my fruit? I am told the Holy Spirit produces the fruit of love through me. Does My Lord eat it? I am told by His word keeping commandments is a fruit I love Him. The fruit of faith pleases Him. Prayer produces peace. Which are all fruits that come from repentance. 

This knowledge doesn’t answer the question. I have no proof my fruit is acceptable to Him. What do I do? 

2-15-2016

There is a law. An entity with authority and power. It is waging war against me. Specifically, my mind. I have experienced its power because I know it can’t be defeated, only suppressed. I have submitted to its authority when I voluntarily act upon its untruths. 

It is an ugly enemy. Its overwhelming message in my ear is to indulge, embrace, and enjoy sin. Take pleasure in what you enjoy. Why do you cause yourself pain by denying yourself? Do you remember the pleasure you had in wallowing? 

It’s exhausting plowing a field of concrete. The void left by denial will be and must be filled. The effort of maintenance robs so much from production. And my enemy knows this.

My enemy knows progress produces lift. My enemy wants my attention focuses elsewhere. My enemy offers me the pleasure of the moment. My enemy’s strategy is to change my beliefs, revise my values and be satisfied with the destruction sin provides. Yet!

It is not up to me. He is faithful. I have responsibilities. He is merciful. My unbelief doesn’t stop His grace. I am grateful.

2-14-2019

Today is a good day. I don’t why but I believe it is. I don’t know what will happen today and at the moment in time, it doesn’t matter. This can change as quickly as lightning across the sky and I am OK with that. 
Strange. I have no proof this will be a good day or a bad day. And yet I believe it will be. I can’t make, force or will a good day into existence. And yet I believe. 

There is nothing special about this day. And yet it will be a good day.

The more important question I have is how am judging this day? And what verdict will I give it? This comes across as subjective not an absolute. I can flip, turn, decide at a moment’s notice that this was a horrible day. So what criteria are being used for the qualification? My feelings, my thoughts, my ignorance, or my understanding. 

So I am left wondering why? And that is OK because it is a good day!

2-13-2019

Presumption. Your word tells me it is a great transgression. In fact, I can find no sin in your word with such a designation. My understanding tells me presumption comes from pride and is related to assumption. Where the only difference between the two; with presumption, I have a greater level of confidence in what I am thinking as compared to not having confidence in what my thoughts are.

I see where pride is a factor especially when the Psalmist asks these sins do not rule or authority over him. Pride will rule us. It will direct us, force us, into places and circumstances we do not want to go. However, presumption comes across as being “confidently wrong”.

My discernment tells me, I can be wrong in both the absolute and the subjective. The far greater danger is being presumptive with subjective truth than absolute truth. This is where I can see pride having a field day. When truth is subjective, then I may be wrong but I don’t have to admit it because my stance may be “legitimate”. With subjective truth my viewpoint is as valid as everyone else’s viewpoint. 

My pride tells me not to search for the absolute truth generating the subjective truth because it will be an absolute truth I am not happy with. And with that, I complete the circle. I have given the sin of presumption rule over me. 

Wow! Lord, I need you.

2-12-2019

The day is gray in Florida today. And that is OK. Why? Because of the possibility of the opportunity that has presented itself. It is a little thing but I am grateful. 

I am astounded at the how of this opportunity has ministered hope to my soul. I have received no fruit from my endeavors and yet I am thankful.

This makes no sense. I have accomplished nothing. I have earned nothing and yet I feel the wind. The soft, gentle wind providing the possibility of lift.

It is silly; I know. I’m OK with silliness because with the silliness is a liberty beyond my comprehension. So I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts. I will not be silent on expressing my gratitude because it is more blessed to give than to receive. 

2-11-2019

I hate introspection. Introspection causes a clash of ideas, thoughts, conclusions to come into conflict with each other. They vie for my attention all wanting to be acted upon. Each trying to convince me they are right and I should ignore the others.

My realist is having a discussion with my idealist. My pessimist desires to inject itself into the conversation while my optimist is sitting on the sidelines waiting for everyone to become tired so it can take over.
It doesn’t matter the topic all four will have their say but not their way. I’m left trying to gain understanding from many points of view who think they know what is best.

It’s the logic of the arguments that have to be refuted. The arguments they become more complex, more sophisticated. Every argument correct at the moment. Each has its strengths and weaknesses but each cannot be acted upon. Every decision has consequences I don’t foresee. 

Not seeing consequences. Little things become big things. Big things are not seen because I am too focused on little things. It is a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself. 

A decision will occur my conscious is in agreement with. And I am left with the consequences like I always am.